I used to think that i was strong. I used to think that's life is all about being rebellious. I used to think that smoking was cool. I used to think that I can be who I wanna be. I used to think that I was important. I used to think that Dreams are something that is true. And the most of all is that,  I used to think that friends are forever.

Well, now, in this very moment, it seemed that everything that I said is something that is stupid and never possible. I just realize that I'm actually a weak soul who have done too many stupid things in life that i just don't realize. Worst, Someone once told me, I tend to ignore and hurt the person who loves me, and eventually loves the person who actually is ignoring me by doing something that I'm not supposed to.

This actually kept me thinking. Is it really my fault? For an individual, I just wanna make people around me feel the happiness and feel that they are wanted somehow. And I'm not asking anything for a return. But it's just that I felt in times people may misjudge me for something that I didn't mean to do or say.

For me, I just wanna be happy with the people whom I love, Even though when deep inside me, I'm hurt or sad. I know, I kept too many things inside me, and it's bugging me all the time. I just dunno who to tell. If only life was much easier. If only someone could just hear me out. If only someone understands me. 

But yet again, it will always be another 'If Only'...